Kevin Smith was born in 1970. That’s 8 years before I was. Do you know what that means? That means that Clerks came out when Smith was only 24 years old. I’m going to be 29 next month. See? See? I’m a fucking loser. I’ve done nothing.. NOTHING.. with my life. Where was I at 24? In some fucked up ruined relationship about to give birth.
This is the first time ever that I can remember fearing a birthday. This is it, one more year and I hit 30. I was looking forward to it for awhile when I was 27, but now on the brink of 29, I think I’m going to break some furniture and cry.
You know what doesn’t help? Being surrounded by 18 year old hardbodies at work all day. It only reflects just how old I’m getting.
You know what else royally sucks? I’m never going to get promoted. I’m going to have to go work at a less prestigious location, because this place is the absolute tops for this city. And when I’m working somewhere else, and I’m still hanging with my friends from this current job, I’m going to be the big loser. Because they were obviously good enough to be hired as professionals. Me? I’m expendable, and the big bosses could give a fuck if I’m there or not.
So now what? This was the last fucking draw. I’d been holding all that in for awhile now, but now I find out Kevin Smith is only 35? He’d already made like 3 movies by the time he was my age and I can’t even finish a fucking short story. I fucking suck.
I’m a big fat loser with a dead end job.