I had bought this book a few years ago called “Mom, there’s a man in the kitchen and he’s wearing you’re robe.” It’s the only book I could find specifically tailored to single mothers who are thinking about or have started dating. It was written by a single mother, twice divorced, and it details her personal experiences from being back on the dating scene twice with kids. Also included, and very helpful, is various stories of other single mom’s dating experiences. What worked and what didn’t. And lastly, and very helpful as well, it had testimonials from people who were once the children of single parents who were dating.
The only thing really wrong with this book is that it focused on single mothers from nuclear families. That is, divorced and widowed mothers in their 30’s and above. That was really the only problem I had with the whole book. It made me feel like my demographic was being completely ignored. I am not divorced, nor widowed (see ‘die, die my darling’ entry), and am still inmy 20’s for however much of that is left. Why exactly was my demographic being ignored?
Theory number #1: The author doesn’t know any 20 something single moms. Since the author is an older lady who’s kids are nearly grown, her friends and the women she meets, whom are featured in the book, are near her age. This can be understood, if the writer was not widowed in her 20’s and knows no single mom in their 20’s, how can they be in the book?
Theory number #2: The author assumed that any woman stupid enough to get knocked up and ditched in her 20’s can’t read. Well, I may being unfair. She knows most of us can read, but perhaps she figures out gen x and gem millenial minds run in fear at the thought of reading anything outside of Cosmo.
Theory number #3 (combined or seperate from theory #2): The author assumes any woman who got knocked up out of wedlock immediatly got married, and if she didn’t, can’t read.
Either way, I felt a deep sense of neglect at having little in common with any of the mom’s in the book besides the fact that I was a single mother. I could not be a widow even if my ex had died because we were never married. Thank bloody God.
The book was overall very helpful in giving me a few tips in the trade. But there were a few things I suppose were left unanswered. That’s really why I’ve been trying to lay down in some detail all the ins and outs I’ve found in single motherhood. So perhaps, one day, a girl like me will look these over and feel comforted and perhaps even pick up a helpful thing or two.
This is a documentation of a GenX single mom.
Overall, I’ve found dating to be deceptively easy as a sinlge mother. Most of this has to do with my ex still seeing her often enough that I get to go out about once a week average. Also, since I hadn’t even been on a second date until recently, there was no problem with having to deal with my daughter meeting any guy I was dating. Lastly, I’ve just been making due with a couple of friends with benefits that were very understanding so long as they got laid.
Surely, it will become more difficult in the future if that little bit of trepidation sitting in the pit of my stomach is any indication. It’s scary to venture into that bit of unknown territory where my love life and my motherhood might actually become intertwined. Well, I could always spend the next 13.5 years expiration dating and having meaningless sex. That doesn’t really sound so bad either until I get kicked out of bed. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.