The Orlando Trip Blogs

So I’m back in Miami. Here is one long blog about my trip.


I left for Orlando Saturday morning. I ran into my boss at the rest stop in Canoe Creek. I was in West Palm Beach when I noticed I forgot my computer and then started feeling the stirrings of net withdrawal.

I got lost something awful when I finally made it to Orlando, but we all know Google Maps has its faults.

My mom made me feel like dirt about the hotel room. Most of the bitching was about the fact that there was no fridge. She said she’d never trust me again with travel plans. That put me in a foul mood for.. well, the whole time I was pretty pissed about it, actually. I mean, I have a hard time believing she’s never stayed in worst places. This place was clean, it didn’t smell, the TV worked, so did the ice machine. It had a pretty nice pool. The location was right on the main St. I was peeved. Sure, not the Hilton, but if she wanted a 5 star Hotel she should’ve paid for it herself.

The best thing about being the person in charge of travel is that I’M in charge. ha ha. That means if I want to go to UNO’s for dinner, then that’s where we’re going. I hadn’t been to UNO’s in like 7 yrs or more, so I was happy.

My kid’s godmother drove down from Gainsville to see us Saturday night.

My kid and I swam around the pool for a bit before dinner. There was some chick who looked like Paris Hilton. I wanted to laugh. I mean, you’re all dolled up to sit by the pool at some 3star Best Western? Please. You know you got those sunglasses at Forever 21.

On Sunday we went to Disney Magic Kingdom. Yes, My kid had a ton of fun, and I have never done so much at Disney World in a single day.

We rode: the carousel, Snow White, Dumbo, Goofy’s Roller Coaster, the train that goes all the way around the park, Stitch, Buzz Lightyear, some train that goes through Tomorrowland, Pirates of the Caribbean, Aladdin, Swiss Family Treehouse, the Ferryboat, and Splash Mountain. That was My kid’s favorite, Splash Mountain.

We spent about 9-10 hours there. Someone stole our stroller, and then we found it. My mom lost her wallet, but then she found it. There were storm clouds in the afternoon, but it didn’t rain. There were hotdogs at McDonalds.We saw the parade and some show at the Cinderella castle. We went in by the monorail, and out by the boat. The Haunted Mansion was closed. I didn’t even go near “It’s a Small World”

After we left we had dinner at the biggest McDonald’s in the world.

I hadn’t thought about how I would get My kid to leave without crying. In the end I promised to buy her stuff and then she went willingly and with no fuss except the promise that we’d return one day.

On Monday we made the trek home. Orlando really is very close to Miami you know, sometimes I forget that it’s really right there.

On Saturday I met up with a friend of a friend of mine that lives n Orlando, she said that the parts where the residents live is a lot like Miami. That kinda stuck with me, and by Monday I was feeling as suffocated in Orlando as I have ever felt in Miami. I had been toying with the idea of moving to the Orlando/Tampa area and I think after this trip that idea has been shot to hell. Like a lot of people I’ve known, I just don’t think that’s going to be far away enough for me.

Living in Orlando has to be like the weirdest thing ever. I was walking out of a Walgreens and there was a volcano in front of it. I’m not sure if it was a hotel, restaurant, or miniature golf. And this whole strip of the city is like that. One tourist trap after the other, but residents have to drive through this crap as part of their daily lives. A McDonald’s where you can get a Panini.

Is there a moral to this story? I’m afraid that maybe any big city is just like every other big city. I’m afraid that maybe L.A., N.Y., Chicago, Miami, Seattle, DC, are really all exactly alike. Help me out here?

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