The Stapler and the Hot Guy

I work in an Office-esque setting. So I know this might be weird to some, but others can appreciate.

I buy really cute red Swingline staplers for the department. Since people tend to steal them or break them, I only keep one out for student use at any given time. A lot of students get a kick out of them because of their association to Office Space.

There has been a new development in stupid things people ask me when I’m at work.


Student: Is there another stapler?
Me: What’s wrong with that stapler?
Student: It has no staples left.
Me: Why don’t I just refill that one?

Gasp! Oh the concept. Must I buy a new stapler every time one runs out of staples? So that’s where all the money goes. I mean really… staplers don’t come preloaded anyway. Why don’t you just ask me for more staples, dumb-ass? In response I have started to answer this question differently…

Student: Is there another stapler?
Me: No, sorry.

The student walks away as I refill the stapler behind their back.

On a side note:
Today one of the cute guys I always notice around came over to my desk to sharpen his pencil. (Literally, that wasn’t an innuendo). We started talking and he asked me how my weekend was. I was trying so hard not to sound stupid cause I could tell I was about to get tongue-tied.

I’m almost 30 years old. But I still have the hardest time talking to guys I think are really good looking. Maybe it’s because I know I shouldn’t be flirting with him. I don’t know how old he is, he could be 20. And now I’m a pervy old lady. Plus, since he’s probably so young and I look so young he probably has a huge misconception about me.

I wish I could wear a sign that said “Single Mom” without looking weird.

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