What Would Dan Savage Say?

I’m just not a relationship person.


I don’t want to live the life of a celibate monk. For years I’ve simply slept with some of my friends. No strings. I now am getting to that point where I can see a problem starting. The thing is now if I’m ever hanging out alone with them the first thing that comes up is sex. The only way to avoid it is if I don’t hang out with that person, which sometimes leaves me friendless and in a movie theater by myself just because I’m too polite to say “I’m not in the mood.”

So how do I remedy it? Just have one sex friend seems reasonable, and now I’ve fallen into “monogamy by default”. Hmmm.. no. I could just sleep with people I date, except I don’t date because I’m not a relationship person and dating seems like misleading someone. There’s sex with random strangers, but I’ve never felt comfortable with that either.

I’m getting to the point where I’m glad I’m planning to move out of town just so I can get away from all this.

Unfortunately, it would seem that the only solution is to keep juggling things around the way I’ve been living. It’s complicated, but it seems the least complicated solution without becoming a celibate monk.

This really all started because about a week ago I had one guy do something I considered so disrespectful, I don’t even want to look at him. And I have to wonder what I did to make him think that it was okay to do that because I believe in sharing blame here. Sure, he’s an asshole, but obviously I wasn’t demanding the amount of respect that I think I deserve.

So this past week I’ve sat here thinking, “What would Dan Savage tell me to do?” I think I’ve read enough Dan Savage to get a good idea of what he might say. I don’t want to write in for fear of my friends reading it and recognizing me. So I’m just going to cross this guy off my sex buddy list,and not spend any alone time with him at all.

My best friend asked me once, as we were arguing over marriage and the like, what would I do if Newsted knocked on my door wanting to date me. And I said, “well, that’s different. That’s the man. THE Man.” LOL.

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One response to “What Would Dan Savage Say?

  • rock_starr

    i cringe even imagining what could be so disrespectful to do during sex.
    jason newsted is ur exception to all the rules. u gotta move to where he lives and just “happen” to run into him.

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