After I watched Mama Mia the other day with My kid we went to eat at Gameworks. She’s sitting in front of me and all of a sudden she put on her unhappy face. I of course immediately ask what’s wrong and she says: “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Gasp! where did I go wrong? How did I not get it into her head that she doesn’t need a boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend, why does she think she needs to have one? I panicked.
After stopping myself in the middle of the “there are plenty of fish in the sea speech” (cause I realized I was in the middle of one and I started cracking up cause my daghter is 5 years old), I asked her a few questions. I wanted to understand why she thought not having a boyfriend was such a problem.
I realized that her problem was that she had a boyfriend and they had broken up (yes, she’s 5 years old), and she thought her dad was my first boyfriend. Coming to the conclusion that I had lost my boyfriend and now I was alone, she was under the impression that she would now be alone for good as well.
So how did I correct this problem? I had to explain that her dad was not my first boyfriend. In fact I had to list them all off for her. It still sounds weird when I think about it, but this made her feel better and she was smiling again.
I don’t know about the part where she felt bad for not having a boyfriend. I’m hoping that it was just because we’d seen a wedding movie. I didn’t have the wedding fantasy when I grew up, I never did. I don’t have first hand experience with this one.I want her to know that she doesn’t need a boyfriend to be happy. But she’s 5. Do I seriously have to take away her wedding fantasy? Isn’t it a little bit early to turn her into a man-hating man-eater?
I won’t do it. I’m fine with her making kissy faces at Prince Caspian pictures. I’m okay with her Kindergarten boyfriend. I’m going to trust that I can raise a strong independent woman.