I finished Script Frenzy! Yay! My screenplay has wholes the size of minivans and contradicts itself so it needs a lot of editing! Yay! LOL. okay not so much the last part, but I did finish and that always brings a sense of accomplishment.
Next month I’m going to the fetish party again as I promised a newly single friend of mine. There was another friend of mine who expressed interest in going, but we decided was just a bit too sheltered to experience this yet. I hate to sound judgmental, but this person’s idea of kinky is handcuffs. This brought a few laugh from some other friends of mine because on the kinky scale (1 being missionary position 10 being things that would make Ron Jeremy blush) I don’t think handcuffs registers past 1. Not that I’m exploring the 10’s, I’m just more aware of what people can get up to so nothing at this fetish party will shock me even if I’m not participating.
Aside from the kinky stuff, I’ve also gotten better at the skateboarding. I can actually make it maybe 40-50 feet before almost taking a dive. I haven’t quite gotten the hand of steering yet, but I’m not always swerving to the right anymore, just sometimes.
Still, looking for a job. I think I’m pushing down the depression and just grinning and bearing it all. I’m tired of complaining cause I’m just repeating myself, and I hate repeating myself. A friend of mine tried to put it in perspective for me by telling me that no one’s judging me except me. NO one sees me as a failure, just me. Which leads to me having to say… if everyone disagrees with me, I might just be wrong. And then he made me feel like crap because he expressed how much he wished he had my brain (as in my intelligence, not my brain in a jar). So okay, I get it. I have it easy, and I know that. So I’m just going to keep grinning and bearing.
The down side of being so enamored with celebrities is that it seems to make me magnify my own faults. I’m not thin enough, my teeth aren’t straight, my skin isn’t perfect, my hair isn’t perfect either. Of course that’s my negative thinking because I could easily say “I’m thin, I don’t have bad teeth, I don’t have bad skin, I have really nice hair”. And all that would be true, and maybe it’s a Miami thing to stress about not being perfect. No one’s perfect right? But watching TV, looking through magazines, some girls do look very perfect.
People ask me how are things. I have nothing new to say. Things are exactly the same as they’ve been for the past couple of years. Bottom line, I’m living comfortably.