I finished Script Frenzy! Yay! My screenplay has wholes the size of minivans and contradicts itself so it needs a lot of editing! Yay! LOL. okay not so much the last part, but I did finish and that always brings a sense of accomplishment.
Next month I’m going to the fetish party again as I promised a newly single friend of mine. There was another friend of mine who expressed interest in going, but we decided was just a bit too sheltered to experience this yet. I hate to sound judgmental, but this person’s idea of kinky is handcuffs. This brought a few laugh from some other friends of mine because on the kinky scale (1 being missionary position 10 being things that would make Ron Jeremy blush) I don’t think handcuffs registers past 1. Not that I’m exploring the 10’s, I’m just more aware of what people can get up to so nothing at this fetish party will shock me even if I’m not participating.
Aside from the kinky stuff, I’ve also gotten better at the skateboarding. I can actually make it maybe 40-50 feet before almost taking a dive. I haven’t quite gotten the hand of steering yet, but I’m not always swerving to the right anymore, just sometimes.
Still, looking for a job. I think I’m pushing down the depression and just grinning and bearing it all. I’m tired of complaining cause I’m just repeating myself, and I hate repeating myself. A friend of mine tried to put it in perspective for me by telling me that no one’s judging me except me. NO one sees me as a failure, just me. Which leads to me having to say… if everyone disagrees with me, I might just be wrong. And then he made me feel like crap because he expressed how much he wished he had my brain (as in my intelligence, not my brain in a jar). So okay, I get it. I have it easy, and I know that. So I’m just going to keep grinning and bearing.
The down side of being so enamored with celebrities is that it seems to make me magnify my own faults. I’m not thin enough, my teeth aren’t straight, my skin isn’t perfect, my hair isn’t perfect either. Of course that’s my negative thinking because I could easily say “I’m thin, I don’t have bad teeth, I don’t have bad skin, I have really nice hair”. And all that would be true, and maybe it’s a Miami thing to stress about not being perfect. No one’s perfect right? But watching TV, looking through magazines, some girls do look very perfect.
People ask me how are things. I have nothing new to say. Things are exactly the same as they’ve been for the past couple of years. Bottom line, I’m living comfortably.
Vin Rodriguez 
wow , that’s a nice summing up of you right now i think you had to do that right , just say whats on your mind i feel like that some times .
continuing the fic yay.
fetish party thingy i think i would just laugh my ass off i swear ,and i do think its a requirement to have seen some kind of twisted porn at least to get in,i think my shock level is pretty low i have seen or at least heard a lot of weird stuff (not that i will admit to it though).lol
i have this thing were i just live in denial all the time .i am my biggest fan some might call it crazy or narcissistic but i don’t. i lived in physiological pain from trying to keep with the flow and ,i do believe that if you have very high self stem of your self and image it will show on you ,you know.
i agree with you loving Jason Newsted ,for me ( can i call it loving?!!!) makes it easier ,here is someone i literally will never ever meet ,if you have a chance to see him , i sure won’t, so no rejection no negativity nothing just pure feelings . something that i can always fall back on . not that i will stop my life for him ,that’s is just lame and wrong .
the job thing , it will come on its own don’t think about it too much people tend to look all around them without noticing what they have with them right now, i believe in fate and kismet ,you know. not a religious person that’s for sure but spiritual one.
I by the way preparing to go work for the army from all places , i never thought that I will ever be in such restricted environment coming from pretty much my own rules kinda job, but it just fit right now and so i will go with it.
I have had a few laughs at the fetish party. Shocked? No. But a grown man in diapers is always funny.
Wow. the army. I can’t imagine being in that kind of restricted lifestyle either. Good luck.
i say you can get any man you want, u just have to have some confidence in yourself đŸ™‚
u just need to think positive and feel like u already have a new job and guess what? somehow that job will find u !!
i guess i sound a lil nuts but i truly believe in positive thinking at this point.
Thanks. Hey everyone, this is my friend in real life.
I’m with ya on the thinking positive thing. It’s the only thing I have to hang on to really, just grinning and bearing it. I don’t mean to be a bitch or anything by complaining, I know things are real hard for you right now.
And I can’t have any man I want, that’s just silly. Just like not any man can have me either. But I know I could do well out in the dating scene if I just actually cared enough to put myself out there. But right now I’m just focused on my career.
haha. real life!
really positive thinking has done wonders for me and im not depressed at the fact that i got divorced. things are actually really not so hard for me right now. especially since i stayed friends with ralph and i didnt figure that was gonna happen.
yep, I’ll be working for da man. lol
Your new icon seems shouting “yay” too. Congrats. Looking forward to next chapter of cinderella story. It’s nothing new but I miss Jason fics.
I may have to be thankful that I’m not surrounded with over-achievers, otherwise I’d be depressed. Or I could be too dumb to notice I’m already surrounded by those people…
To me the icon was more “jumping off a cliff”. I didn’t even think of “yay”. Funny how that works and people interpret stuff differently.