depression comes in waves

I decided against going to Chicago for the conference. There’s really little point for it. I don’t find any of the job recruiters there interesting, and no job opening that will be interviewing there is interesting to me either. The seminars are not in the field I want to work in. There’s nothing for me there except maybe one friend who I can see another time.

I mentioned it to my mom, and she agreed with my reasons. Then she told me I should go somewhere else instead on a mini-vacation. She said since my daughter already believes I’ll be gone for a couple days, might as well just enjoy myself. It’s a heady thought and my first thoughts turned to California. I had a dream I went there to visit someone and I was so very happy in my dream. My second thoughts go to NY because I’ve never been to the Met.

I don’t know if I’ll really go anywhere else, but I’m thinking about it.

But I’m depressed. There’s no other way to express that. If I’m at work and I have to blink back tears and keep from hiding under my desk then my ability to function is starting to deteriorate. And that’s all there really is to say about that.

3 responses to “depression comes in waves

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