Kilgore Trout School of Writing

I didn’t win the Unicorn Pegasus Kitten contest. They finally hinted at the winners a few days ago and the lack of email in my inbox alerted me to my rejection. I’m not going to use the “F” word here because I don’t feel like a failure. I suppose my punk rock friend’s words are still with me, thankfully.

Anyhoo, I’m not sure what rejection number to give this. I’m trying to think back and the only time I’ve ever tried to get published I did. I think. It was in high school and they had a contest sort of where this anthology of poetry by teenagers was getting made and my poem along with 2 of my friends, if I remember correctly, was chosen to be in the anthology. I have no idea, though, if this anthology was ever published. I’ll have to look that up. I might be a published writer already.

Ok, so aside from that one time, I’ve entered my screenplay in a few contests where the prize was not publication. Should those count? I’m not going to count them. I’m going to let it slide. I’ve decided to count this unicorn pegasus kitten as my first official rejection at publication. And in case you feel bad for me, don’t, I actually smiled when I typed that. I’ve got a few hundred rejections coming statistically speaking. I do wish, however, that I had an official letter of rejection I could tuck away. Perhaps when I get my own space I’ll print the image that started the contest. I’ll tack it up on my wall. I can hear Christopher Pike in my head, “I dare you to do better.”

I’ve said before, but I’ll say here now in case I haven’t, for the record, that I’d be satisfied and proud to have the career of Kilgore Trout. Trout being the fictitious author featured in the works of Kurt Vonnegut. I’m sure most people get that I’m a Vonnegut fan. Kilgore Trout wrote 117 novels and over 2,000 short stories. He was considered an awful science fiction writer. Yet he somehow gets published and has at least three fans.

I like the idea that he wrote and wrote and wrote despite not becoming some grand celebrated author. I like that at least a few people like and appreciate his work. I like that he’s a recurring character in Vonnegut’s books. It means he’s an interesting character. I’d be so happy to live up to all this.

As for Vonnegut, the old bastard died before I could meet him. ::sigh:: I don’t suppose he’d approve of my English degree, but I do have other degrees so maybe there’s hope for me yet.


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