note: for full effect listen to Led Zeppelin’s “Tangerine” while you read.
In my last post I went on about my old friends and how now we’re on Facebook. It made me think of a conversation I had with someone recently about how different things are now with my friends from how it was back in our teens and early 20’s.
Sure there was a lot of partying, but the biggest thing I miss is the amount of affection I received back then. We were a large group and I ran with two different crowds sometimes. We’d drink or smoke weed and all kind of pile up on together to keep from falling on the floor. We’d fall asleep where we dropped and wake up in a house full of people. We’d dance, sit on porches and lean on each other. We’d see each other several days out of the week and still hug and kiss in greetings and as we left.
Perhaps it was drug induced, but I felt a real sense of belonging, support, and love back then. I always had a place I could go, or someone I could call and hang with if I didn’t want to be alone. These people had my back. If I needed affection I could just take it from them and they gave it gladly.
My early 20’s were like a Cameron Crowe movie. (Say Anything, Singles, Almost Famous… not Vanilla Sky).
It’s different now. The good thing is that after so many years, the cream has risen to the top. The close circle of friends I have now are the ones that have been with me for over 15 years. These are the ones who didn’t disappear and/or wind up stabbing me in the back. Some of those fond memories contain starring roles from people who suck.
So yeah, now that’s all over. It’s not like I didn’t see it coming. Even back then you know eventually people will lose touch or get married and start families. That’s a part of life you know is coming. You know that someday it will all be different and the way things are will be over. I knew it. I did. And this side of 30 is every bit as lonely as I thought it would be.
Me. Woodstock Music Festival, 1999.
28 hour road trip, two cars, eight people.