Ideas… Motivation… just get this stuff out of my head already!

I have ideas… but where’s my motivation? I read this procrastination book once that led me to the realization that I was a perfectionist and that’s why I was procrastinating. Sounds silly, but then I had my friends pointed out that I was a perfectionist and how come it took me so long to notice.

My point, and I don’t actually have one, is that I have so many ideas floating in my head that it’s getting kind of crowded in there. The thing I miss most about being in college was that I was in classes with other artists. I even worked at the library with a musician. We were all an artistic community and we all supported and encouraged each other. Yes, we also critiqued each other, and that is both a necessary and wonderful part of being in an artistic community.

My point, and I think I finally found one, is that I was motivated by the people around me.  And since I no longer have other artists asking me what I’m working on and therefor motivating me to do something so I can avoid the embarrassment of saying that I’ve done nothing but watch TV and surf the net… I have trouble motivating myself into getting anything done.

Namely:

  1. editing my novels
  2. writing those short stories I keep writing in my head
  3. working on my Pilgrim photos/haiku’s I was thinking about
  4. I wanted to try painting without any of my corrective lenses on
  5. everyone is getting homemade xmas presents from me cause I’m low on cash

My procrastination makes me feel like such a poser. And then I feel so bad I just want to escape into the fantasy realm of my television set.  Then I feel bad for watching TV instead of creating.  And because I’m not creating as often as I’d like I feel like such a poser. So I go watch TV to not think about it.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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