I had my night all planned out. I was going to see this movie by myself so I wouldn’t have to bother with any behavior modification on my part. If I got turned on, then I got turned on. If I felt like moping, I would mope. Afterwards my plan was to walk around the beach feeling sorry for myself as I wandered in complete desolation.
The movie follows the struggles of a sex addict. That might sound like fun, but no. The main character is completely miserable. He’s trying to function in society, but… I’m a bit in awe of some of the moments captured in this film. And it’s easy, I think, for the audience to relate to some of the themes. Shame and disconnection. Two words I can totally get behind right now.
As for me I had a good night. It was painful. But I loved the freedom of being able to just feel without having to edit myself for the benefit of others. I know that sounds all sorts of strange or wrong, but I think it just boils down to, it had been too long since I took myself out.
That’s it. I’m a bit too maudlin for a longer blog.