My Sharona

Story time! The other day I was showing my daughter how I plan to cut my hair when I’ve passed 50.  So I pulled up a photo of Winona Ryder in the movie Reality Bites.  Back in high school this movie was such a huge part of my life that I cringe now whenever I think of it. I refuse to watch it anymore. I see Winona’s character and I think back to the choices I made in life knowing, knowing full well, that they were the wrong ones. Ladies, take my advice, Troy Dyer will mess up your life.

Anyway, there were some happy memories there. and I’ll start with The My Sharona scene in the movie.

My friend Y and I would do this everyday at lunch.  Whoever started go to be Janeane Garafalo, and without music, we’d just do the dance to the stares of our friends. We did this for months, perhaps even the whole school year.  It was fantastic.

Y and I had a few other memories I wanted to write down, and I told them to my daughter as a pseudo bedtime story the other day. We’d started a fake band in name only called the Yamwagons because it was the silliest name we could think of.  The name of our album was Anna Nicole Smith and a Cheese Grater because of a conversation we had with another friend of ours (please remember this is about 1995):

Us: Like how much would you pay to have sex with Anna Nicole Smith?

Him: Nothing.

Us: she’s like the hottest woman alive.

Him: I’m not going to pay for sex. I don’t care who it is.

Us: Well, what if we threw in a cheese grater?

Him: No.

Us: Two cheese graters?

But the guy wouldn’t relent and so it ended up being our album name. We had songs too:

  1. My pinky has no ring – (after a conversation about The Godfather)
  2. Abnormally Pretty – (after someone told her she was pretty in a non-traditional way)
  3. I Like salt – (after she said one day “I like salt”)
  4. African-American Fairy – (after someone said the wanted to be a black fairy for Halloween.  They meant a fairy dressed in black with black wings).

And that’s it. The best stories of my year hanging out with Y. I mean there are others, but these are the ones I still tell.

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