Doing Things Half-Ass : a trial run on fixing my perfectionism

– by Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation


“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”


That’s a lovely sentiment, and for the most part I agree.  It makes sense to pour all your energy into one thing in order to do a good job.  Unfortunately, Ron, I’m going to have to disagree with you on practice, at least in regards to my life.  I work for a living and while I love my job, I have outside interests that I wouldn’t mind doing as a full-time job if possible.  Which means that I am half-assing things in my life.

And boy is that an accurate statement. As much as I can try to do a good job, there are some hardcore people around me that make me look bad. And that’s in my full time job and my writing and painting hobbies. The thing is, I learned as a kid that no matter what I do or how hard I try there will always be someone who is doing it better. I will never be the best at anything. named these awesomer people “Clark” in an article.  They say there will always be people more talented than you and that’s fine. Well, no Cracked it’s not fine with me. It’s fucking devastating to know that no matter how hard I try I am only destined to failure or mediocrity at best. That any struggle is worthless since I’m only ever on a long journey to the middle*. The only way I’ll win is if the standards of success are lowered and the Clarks of the world are busy doing other things.  Yeah, why would anyone feel bad about that?

So since I’ve long realized I’m a perfectionist, I’m going to try half-assing a few things in my life. For example, today I submitted a presentation proposal in my field. They already rejected me once, so this time I sent a half-assed submission. Can’t be too upset if that gets rejected.  Also, NaNo is coming up and there are a few short stories I want to finally take into a 2nd draft for submission.  I’m going to half-ass those edits too. So what? What’s it matter when my best was never good enough?

You said it, Bruce.


* “Youll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle” – Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous.


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