Dead Idols and Broken Dreams

At it’s core, this post is about money.

I love David Bowie. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about David Bowie without saying “I love David Bowie” at some point in the conversation. And yeah, I also thought it sucked that Alan Rickman died. It’s been a sucky week and I think a lot of people were waiting for another let down.

I wasn’t. So it came as a shock to me when I received a HUGE let down. Turns out I don’t follow enough celebrity gossip columns because last December an actor that was pretty important to me died. Brooke McCarter, probably best known, and most important to me for playing Paul in my fave movie of all time, The Lost Boys.


Now, he’s not the first to go. Berhard Hughes died in 2006, Haim died in 2010, and Edward Hermann died in 2014. But this one hits worse for me because of that fucking Lost Boys poster that is still framed on my wall by my dining table and now signed by Corey Feldman. Because getting that poster signed by everyone in it, all the vampires, was like #1 on my unofficial bucket list. Aside from all the things I want for my life, my career, my health and my child… the way some people always dream of going to Paris… that was me and that fucking Lost Boys poster. And now Brooke McCarter has died in Tampa, FL. My own backyard.

And you know why the first line of this post is about money? Maybe you guessed. It’s because money could have gotten me that signature years ago.I couldn’t afford to go to the Lost Boys reunion Cons, or fly out to where one or two of them might be. And now it’s over.

I couldn’t afford to go to a Con in New Orleans this weekend with my daughter so she could meet her own idol, Jeremy Renner. I didn’t even mention it because why put her through that? I can’t afford to take her to a Con in Philadelphia to meet Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox. And that’s just the worst examples.

After having to sell my Faith No More ticket and thereby probably selling my only chance to ever see Faith No More live, I thought 2015 was just a long series of suck. I thought I’d left it behind me with the new year, but 2015 managed a whole new way to fuck me again. And this is a let down that’s going to follow me for years.

And now that I’ve finished my rant. My apologies to Brooke McCarter’s family for ranting in the first place. They’re the ones who lost a family member 3 days before Christmas. My sincerest condolences to all of you.



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