Wesley Dream-Crusher

How do you like my pun-tastic Subject Heading?

I just finished Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton, best known probably as Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I really enjoyed the book. It’s so raw. The guy just lays himself prostrate for everyone to see. It was a sad, sad biopic tale with some high points but mostly low points in this guy’s life. It makes me feel bad, really, for him. It’s a classic example of that saying, “the bigger they are the harder they fall”. And Wil Wheaton was pretty up there. Mr. Teen Idol. At least it seems things are going better for him now.

Wesley Dream Crusher


depression comes in waves

I decided against going to Chicago for the conference. There’s really little point for it. I don’t find any of the job recruiters there interesting, and no job opening that will be interviewing there is interesting to me either. The seminars are not in the field I want to work in. There’s nothing for me there except maybe one friend who I can see another time.

I mentioned it to my mom, and she agreed with my reasons. Then she told me I should go somewhere else instead on a mini-vacation. She said since my daughter already believes I’ll be gone for a couple days, might as well just enjoy myself. It’s a heady thought and my first thoughts turned to California. I had a dream I went there to visit someone and I was so very happy in my dream. My second thoughts go to NY because I’ve never been to the Met.

I don’t know if I’ll really go anywhere else, but I’m thinking about it.

But I’m depressed. There’s no other way to express that. If I’m at work and I have to blink back tears and keep from hiding under my desk then my ability to function is starting to deteriorate. And that’s all there really is to say about that.

Work convention and fellow musicians

I’m going to Colorado. woo-hoo. In January. There’s a National convention and employers looking for employees. Hopefully I can find a job. I’m taking my kid and she’s so excited she doesn’t want to come back to Miami. She wants to just pack up and move there. Also, there’s the added bonus that my best friend lives up there so I’ll get to visit him too.

I’ve been back on my bass for two days now. I realized that if I want to get through the Orion bass solo part I’m really going to have to try a different fingering technique so I’m kinda relearning it. My friend plays a fellow string instrument, violin, and she was giving me a few pointers that I think have improved my speed a bit. I’ve also learned “What I’ve Done” from Linkin Park (no great accomplishment, it’s easier than sin) from the Transformers movie. I normally hate that band, but I like that song probably cause I loved the Tranformers movie so much.

I’ve never seen snow. I hope it snows a little when I’m in Colorado. My flight has a stop in Texas. I could have picked one with a stop in Phoenix, Arizona if I went a little out of the way. But as much as I was tempted, I’m not so foolish to fly an hour and a half out of my way just to spend a couple hours in the airport of the city Jason use to live in before he joined Metallica. Ah, if only the convention had been in Phoenix. I could call up my one friend there and hang out and he’s a Jason fan too that plays bass guitar. ::sigh::

Oh, well. Fate has led me to Colorado so hopefully it’s with good reason.


Alone in Virginia

I’m in Virginia. Alone.

It really sucks to be alone in an entire State. I’m starting to feel all sorts of guilt about possibly leaving my mother alone if I move up here (despite the fact that there are other close relatives and all my mothers friends where we live). I’ve never had my own hotel room all to myself, and I guess that’s what really started my melancholy.

I’m going to go outside and take pictures around the hotel. This place is really nice though. I have a fridge and microwave. The Declaration of Independence is on the wall as well as a portrait of Abe Lincoln. I have wi-fi connection. I shocked housekeeping when I spoke to her in perfect Spanish. It’s nice. I’m starting to feel a little better.

I’ve always liked Virginia.

“I believe I can see the future…”

So my big work project got aborted. They put me on a flight with a connection and I was never able to make it to my final destination. I sat there in the airport for six hours before I realied I was never going to be able to catch a flight that woud get me there on time. So I took a flight back home. Well, I got close to home anyway, a city about an hour and a half away from home. Luckily, I have a friend here and she let me crash on her spare mattress. They are satanists, but they are the nicest most down to Earth people.

Back in my prison